Adding Insult to Injury

Intimates regularly attempt to motivate their partners to change their undesirable behaviors by engaging in confrontational partner-regulation behaviors. Although recent research suggests that such behaviors can indeed motivate partners to change on average, theoretical perspectives suggest that such behaviors may decrease the motivation of partners who are experiencing depression. A survey study of romantic relationships, an observational study of newlyweds, and a diary study of married couples provided support for this prediction. Across all three studies, confrontational partner-regulation behaviors were associated with more motivation to resolve problems among partners who were experiencing relatively few depressive symptoms, but less motivation among partners who were experiencing relatively more depressive symptoms. Further, Study 3 provided evidence for the mechanism of these effects-- relationship self-efficacy, or the belief that one can resolve relationship problems. Finally, the three studies additionally provided evidence that engaging in supportive and encouraging behaviors during problem-solving discussions was particularly motivating to partners who were experiencing more depressive symptoms. These findings highlight the fact that theories of communication will be most complete to the extent that they consider that interpersonal behaviors are not inherently beneficial or harmful; rather, their implications depend on qualities of the communication target.